deerlyBeloved

[shakeitoff]

deerlyBeloved: mindSlut "The answer is yes. Until you pass out, and then again when you wake up." Need a man who really knows what women want? Well look no further than this psychic stud muffin with a hard, bitter chocolate shell and a soft gooey center, talk about a snack. If you play your cards right you could get a V.I.P. pass into his eternal devotion, and if not, well the sex is still mind altering. But be careful, this grumpy lone wolf comes with a lot of baggage and can be a real prick-ly fellow when he wants to keep you out of it. And gentlemen will have a much tougher time getting to know him, but all hope isn't completely lost, fellas! He just needs a little work...

( william "penny" adiyodi | 23 | male | none of your damn business )

Comments

un: top price

[tagartist]

i'm pretty sure this is the first time i've ever read a profile that made me feel hungry in the first five seconds. this is an attack on anyone with a sweet tooth.

un: mindSlut

[shakeitoff]

Yeah, I dunno what that shit's about, licking sweet stuff off of people was never my kink.
But I can promise you that everything in between the metaphor is exactly as advertised, so fuck whoever wrote this but at least they made you hungry for something.

[tagartist]

even the prick pun?

[shakeitoff]

I'm a lot of things, in denial about what I am isn't one of them.
But if it helps, I'm usually a prick to people who've got it coming.

[tagartist]

you're better than me, then
i'm a bitch to just about everyone

[shakeitoff]

[Fuck, between her profile and this conversation so far, she sounds exactly like Kady.]

I doubt that.
I've got a pretty broad fucking definition of who has it coming.

[tagartist]

[ Fate™. ]

to be fair
most people suck

[shakeitoff]

Girl, you got no idea.
Try reading all their bullshit thoughts sometime.

[tagartist]

that sounds like a fucking nightmare
also noting we should probably never hang out face to face
i would give you the worst headache if you had to hear everything in my head

[shakeitoff]

Yeah, but probably not as bad as the literal nightmare we're in.
And that depends, some people are quieter than others, and there's ways to close your mind.
But I can probably tell you just how head-splitting your brain is with answers to a few questions.

[tagartist]

hah ig that's fair
alright, then — hit me. i've always wanted to know how big a pain in the ass i am.

[shakeitoff]

First, and probably the most important: what sort of music gets stuck in your head?
If you say Taylor Swift, we're done.

[tagartist]

country makes me puke, so definitely not
daughter, i guess? sometimes the smashing pumpkins. firewalk too, but no one here ever seems to know who they are.

un: bambi

[gossipkinesis]

Wow, what a fucking write-up.

un: mindSlut

[shakeitoff]

Whoever wrote it is gonna get my foot in their ass if I find them.
But seriously? A heart?

[gossipkinesis]

Even if she's an old friend?

A really hot friend?

[shakeitoff]

Girl, if you you're looking for a hook-up all you gotta do is ask.
That's what we swipe right for.

[gossipkinesis]

Bitch, please. Like you need to instruct me on hookup protocols.

[shakeitoff]

So I'll see you later tonight?

[gossipkinesis]

[ Girl needs to get laid but she wonders how messy this would be.]

So you've figured out who I am?

[shakeitoff]

Subtlety really isn't your thing.
And I don't think I've ever heard your other half call you by your actual name.

[gossipkinesis]

Being subtle is overrated and stupid.

Well done, brains and a bod.

[shakeitoff]

Better to say what you mean than dick around and waste everyone's damn time.

Hey, an idiot coulda figured it out but you're not wrong. It takes brains to spot exceptional women.

[gossipkinesis]

So when are we going to do this thing?

[shakeitoff]

My schedule's as open as my door. Whenever you want.

508 David Cliff Apartments.

[gossipkinesis]

I have to go kick Coldwater's ass real quick then I'll be over.

[shakeitoff]

Alright. I'd ask what he did, but it's fucking Coldwater.

[gossipkinesis]

Exactly. He almost always deserves a kick in the ass.

[shakeitoff]

Well, enjoy yourself. I'll see you later.

un: scarlet

[magija]

Is there truth to being a psychic or is it all an extended exaggeration like being made of chocolate?
Unless that's all fact too.

un: mindSlut

[shakeitoff]

I fucking hate the word, but yeah I can read minds and shit.
And I guess it's all fact if you're creative enough.

[magija]

Is there a word you do prefer?

I've never been called one but I guess what I do is a bit different.

[shakeitoff]

Haven't found a good alternative yet.

Well, if you aren't constantly hearing voices from people thinking across the whole damn multiverse, then yeah what you do is majorly different